Try to see it my way

the long version

A deeply probing book that gets to the heart of what all healthy romantic relationships need: fairness.Most couples enter a marriage hoping it can last forever. So, why are more and more relationships failing over time? As Dr. B. Janet Hibbs explains, poor communication skills or inherent differences between men and women are not solely to blame. The answer lies much deeper the key to healthy, loving relationships is fairness. Without a sense of fairness, marriages fail.Intuitively, we think we know what is fair. But as this book reveals, the way we each define whats fair is much more complex, and is powerfully shaped by our family expectations and experiences.Fairness issues underlie everyday problems that become larger than life, such as: Why dont you ever help clean the house? Why dont you ask me how my day was anymore? Or, they can create family loyalty conflicts that sound like this: Why do you always let your mother tell you what to do? The growing pains in relationships around money, children, and sexall require the skills to negotiate whats fair.Here, Dr. B. Janet Hibbs provides readers with a road map for recognizing imbalances and building a stronger, more loving relationship based on a new kind of fairnessone that they create with their partner. Filled with compassion, practical advice, and compelling, real-life examples throughout, this book offers a groundbreaking understanding of the root cause of conflicts that erode relationships. It is essential reading for therapists and all couples.