The Nasty Little Writing Book

the long version

The book Publisher's Weekly called "Hilarious!" <br>At last, the dirty little secrets of making it as a best-selling author revealed by long-time New York publishing insider! <br>The book that will turn you into a best-selling author—guaranteed! Or five times your money back! <br>This bitingly satirical tome—chockablock with lies as it is—offers more truth than any dozen ordinary how-to-be-published books. <br>•The secrets of ‘bonding’ with new york editors. <br>•Mistakes made by ‘hack’ writers. <br>•How to know when your muse is calling. <br>•Which writers to read and which to avoid. <br>•How watching tv can be your doorway to success. <br>•Why literary agents want to ‘discover’ you. <br>•How to write a best-selling novel without revising. <br>•What plots are ‘winners.’ <br>•What plots are ‘losers.’ <br>•Why ‘names’ are published more often than ‘unknowns.’ <br>•How to know what to write about. <br>•Why clichés deserve a place in the author’s toolbox. <br>•What genre is ripe for ‘breaking in.’ <br>•Why not to ‘write what you know.’ <br>•Why being published is just the beginning. <br>•Handling fame and wealth. <br>•How to treat fans.