The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil

the long version

"On the buttoned-down island of Here, all is well. By which we mean: orderly, neat, contained and, moreover, beardless. Or at least it is until one famous day, when Dave, bald but for a single hair, finds himself assailed by a terrifying, unstoppable ... monster*! Where did it come from? How should the islanders deal with it? And what, most importantly, are they going to do with Dave? ... about life, death and the meaning of beards"--Amazon.com.