The Hollywood hall of shame

the long version

HOLLYWOOD'S MOST FABULOUS FIASCOES Welcome to the first titillating tour of a new museum devoted to the most expensive mistakes in movie history, guided by those world renowned bad-film aficionados - the brothers Medved. Lavishly illustrated in glorious black and white, The Hollywood Hall Of Shame celebrates motion pictures that have failed on so grand a scale that they have earned their own sort of immortality. In addition to such flops as Cleopatra, Darling Lili, and Heaven's Gate, visitors to the Hollywood Hall of Shame will discover bizarre losers like: Hello Everybody, a lavish musical featuring the romantic exploits of the singing, dancing, 212-pound Kate Smith; Kolberg, a 1944 Nazi extravaganza about the Napoleonic Wars starring 187,000 Wehrmacht soldiers as battlefield extras, and personally supervised by Dr. Joseph Goebbels; Doctor Doolittle, the dilemma-ridden Rex Harrison disaster in which even the ducks almost drowned; Underwater!, a Howard Hughes-Jane Russell seagoing stinker that premiered at the bottom of a swimming pool to a group of skeptical critics wearing diving equipment; These and other "overstuffed" turkeys are displayed in exhibition areas, which include fascinating information on how the films were made, the inside story of what went wrong during production, and explanations of why they failed at the box office. In the colourful corridors of this museum you will meet such dreamers and schemers as William Randolph Hearst, Marlene Dietrich, D.W. Griffith, Liberace, Elizabeth Taylor, Benito Mussolini, Julie Andrews, Warren Beatty, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, John Wayne, Marlon Brando, and many, many others. There is also a basement collection describing over two hundred bona fide bomberinos for the confirmed connoisseur of cinemediocrity. So come find your way through Harry and Michael's hilarious Hall of Shame, and fondly remember those grand, doomed gestures Hollywood would prefer to forget.