Relationships and Patterns of Conflict Resolution

the long version

Historically, couples may have spent their entire lives together in one specific relationship, and these relationships may have been formed around the cul-ture and tradition of their parents. However, in our modern, Information Age the chances of remaining with the same partner in one continuous relationship is less the norm than the exception to the norm, at least in technologically ad-vanced countries. In our contemporary society, changing jobs, having children, living longer and other significant events makes the possibility for changes and transitions in relationships an ongoing reality. When we realize that one of the most common methods for transforming a partnership is through divorce, then the possibility of changing a relationship, instead of changing a partner, may become a more attractive alternative, especially for couples who have little direction when faced with overwhelming conflict. Sometimes couples change partners; when actually, what they may be seeking is a different type of relationship with the same partner. Interviews with over fifty different couple’s counselors reinforced this conclusion. The counselors stated that, “Couples want a better understanding of their relationships while in counseling and they want a clearer understand-ing of how to resolve conflicts disrupting these relationships. Relationships and Patterns of Conflict Resolution: A Reference Book for Couples Counseling focuses on helping counselors and couples in both of these areas. To accomplish these goals, the emphasis in the book is more phenomenological than sociological. Rather than exploring a sociological viewpoint of contemporary couples such as; inter-racial couples, gay and lesbian couples or previously married couples, Part I of the book explores couples in motion. It describes partners, for example, who nurture each other or who seek equality in their relationships, regardless of the labels they have inherited in our social world. Part II of the book, talks about patterns of conflict resolution and how dysfunctional conflict resolution styles can increase conflict, rather than reducing it. Keeping this in mind, the book has two major goals: Helping couples understand their present relationships, and their ability to make productive changes in them. Secondly, helping couples identify dysfunctional patterns of conflict resolution and how to make resolution of conflict more effective.