Live right and find happiness (although beer is much faster)

the long version

A latest collection of previously unpublished writings by the New York Times best-selling satirical author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty reflects on his granddaughter's learning permit, the deviant behaviors of the men in his hometown and the loneliness of being a high-school nerd. "During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on--to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience"--