Positive thinking for Calvinists

the long version

Looking to escape the black cloak of your Calvinist heritage? Feeling dismally depressed by tomes of gloomy Scottish sayings? Need an umbrella against life's constant drizzle of pessimism? The look no further than Positive Thinking for Calvinists - The School of Soft Knox. We all know that the Scottish psyche is a complex creature, a victim of centuries of sackcloth and ashes. And when we look into the deep well of our Scottish souls we see the dark waters of Calvinism lying in wait. Definitely time for some positive thinking ... So, if you've ever wondered if wool grows just as fast on lazy sheep, why hard work sometimes pays off in the future but indolence works this very minute and what exactly is the worst sort of Calvinist, then the answers are all here. And you might be surprised. You might even, God help us all, crack a smile or two dozen.