Professor Branestawm's dictionary

the long version

Famous already for his incredible inventions - his time-travel machine, his weather-controlling machine and his useful domestic devices, such as his machine for detecting where you last put the marmalade - the genius of Great pagwell has now turned his attention to the task of interpreting the English language. His research has shown that some words don't mean what they sound as if they ought to mean. And so he has invented his own kind of dictionary, or fictionary, especially for all those words that seem to have better meanings than the ones usually given to them.