Which way to the vomitorium?

the long version

Tired of feeling like "The Ugly American" every time you visit the Vatican? Fed up with having to consult a dictionary when all you want to say is, "I've just been run over by a chariot!"? Well, now you can prepare yourself for almost every papal problem and haphazard happenstance with Which Way to the Vomitorium?: Vernacular Latin for All Occasions. Enhance your small talk at dinner parties with such gems as "Esne ebrius iterum?" (Are you drunk again?) and "Suntne illi glires novi?" (Are these dormice fresh?). Relive the tedium of traveling by introducing your children to Latin with "Paene adventimus?" (Are we nearly there yet?). With over 450 phrases and a recipe for "liquamen," Which Way to the Vomitorium? will have you leading that ancient Roman lifestyle in no time, teaching you everything you need to know if you want to properly pontificate with the Pontiff or survive in the Old World neighborhoods of Pompeii. -- from dust jacket.