I'll Mature When I'm Dead

the long version

In eighteen hilarious pieces, Dave Barry tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood (?Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours listening to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes?), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrity, and technology (?In the old days, the closest you could get to Twitter would be to mail dozens of postcards a day to everybody you know, each with a brief message like, ?Just had a caramel frappuccino. Yum!??), to parenting styles, reality shows, certain medical procedures.