I'm not gonna lie, and other lies you tell when you turn 50

the long version

"Newly single and ready to embrace life, George Lopez was excited to turn fifty. He spent his entire forty-ninth year waiting for the calendar to flip to that magic number. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him: he was old. From dating younger women to fighting the uphill battle of staying in shape, George Lopez tells the unabashed, and often hilarious, truth about aging--as only he can"--