Neanderthal opens the door to the universe

the long version

Cliff Hubbard is a huge loser. He has no one at school and life in his trailer park home has gone from bad to worse ever since his older brother's suicide. There's no one Cliff hates more than the nauseatingly cool quarterback, Aaron Zimmerman. One day, Aaron returns to school after a near-death experience with a bizarre claim: while he was unconscious he saw God, who gave him a list of things to do to make Happy Valley High suck less. And God said there's only one person who can help: Neanderthal.