The beneficiary

"How have you been able to exist for 35 years knowing that you aren't really living your own life, but someone else's?" Mommsen's life was spared 35 years ago in World War II when a priest voluntarily took his place before a military firing squad. Now, at a commemoration of the incident, he finds himself bombarded with questions from journalists and others about "how it felt" to be the beneficiary of this sacrifice and about the difference it has made to his life. Mommsen, who has never considered these issues or his life very closely, is forced to examine his ordinary existence in the context of this extraordinary event. His fulfilling career, loving wife, comfortable home suddenly seem as random and arbitrary, as inexplicable as the priest's act. Searching for answers to these new and increasingly compelling questions, Mommsen loses interest in his work and grows alienated from his wife of 22 years as he struggles to comprehend the meaning of the priest's sacrifice, the burden of his role as beneficiary, and the significance of both their lives.