The new dad's survival guide

the long version

FATHERHOOD DEMYSTIFIED! Finally-a manual for new dads that deciphers the immensely confusing world of fatherhood and gives crucial tips and advice from a man's point of view. No psychobabble, no warm fuzzies-just a hilarious (and surprisingly practical) military-style guide to surviving and thriving through even the queasiest moments of pregnancy, birth, and babyhood. Seasoned father and master infant-tamer Scott Mactavish breaks the Baby Code down and lays it out in straight-up guyspeak. The New Dad's Survival Guide includes declassified information on such topics as: Cutting the Cord: The Moment of Truth Feeding and Cleaning the NFU (New Family Unit) Surviving Sleep Deprivation Relieving Stress Without Booze The Great Boob Irony Pee, Poo, Hurl, and Snot: Getting Used to the Bodily Functions Critical Survival Tips Never Before Revealed Sex: Let the Games Begin Again...Finally Dozens of Essential Terms Defined, Including Binky, Onesie, Diaper Genie, Passy, and Sippy Cup GRAB YOUR BOOTS AND STRAP ON YOUR HELMET! THE BABIES ARE COMING!