Real Live Boyfriends

the long version

Ruby Oliver is in love. Or it would be love, if Noel, her real live boyfriend, would call her back. But Noel seems to have turned into a pod-robot lobotomy patient, and Ruby can't figure out why. Not only is her romantic life a shambles: Her dad is eating nothing but Cheetos, Her mother's got a piglet head in the refrigerator, Hutch has gone to Paris to play baguette air guitar,Gideon shows up shirtless, And the pygmy goat Robespierre is no help whatsoever. Will Ruby ever control her panic attac