Secret Diary of a Grumpy Old Woman

the long version

"It feels like only yesterday I was the youngest person in the room. I spent the whole day snogging boys, backcombing my hair and trying to dance like Pan's People. Now, I'm so old I remember the arrival of unisex hairdressers and had a crush on Illya Kuryakin, which for people younger than me just looks like a bad Scrabble hand. This means that I am grumpy. For a start I have a bad hair life, my teenage daughter has a better sex life than I do, and if I skip plucking the beard, I have the start of five o'clock shadow. Why wouldn't I be grumpy?"