The father I had

the long version

Father and son: arguably the most complex of all family relationships. But what happens when your dad is a manic-depressive who paints the front door in the middle of the night and sends well-wishes to Michael Crawford scrawled on a pair of underpants? Martin Townsend grew up with a father, Ron, who had suffered recurring mental illness since the early 1950s. At the slightest emotional trigger he could turn from a loving and compassionate dad - adored by his family and friends - to a restless, dead-eyed depressive or spiteful, bullying monster. One moment he could be building his sons a play-house, the next terrorising the family and smashing up the council house he had struggled so hard to get. Martin Townsend paints a powerful, often painful portrait of life with his dad. He describes the roller-coaster route of an illness which is still widely misunderstood but which touches the lives of millions of people. From the soaring, often hilarious 'highs' to the horrific 'lows' of his father's three suicide attempts, he tells a story of pain, courage and resilience. He remembers a father he loved unconditionally - but who would turn on him, as the eldest son, whenever the illness took hold.